ferst n foremost,thanx zaza for being der ydae.im glad we had tt gerl tok late last nite.it did cleared my mind off for awhile n i feel much much better.i reali appreciate u lending a listening ear ydae.ilu gerlfren :)

running away frm e situation is never e option.i went to johor,came back,off my fon e whole day n onli on my fon back at 5.35 coz i thought he'd prolly be back in by den,but nope..he kol-ed at 5.46.haha..der was no avoiding him.he talked abt ydae n said doz 3 words again.der was more silence on my part n i didnt noe wad to say.jz lyk ydae,i ignored doz 3 words.n jz lyk ydae,i cld sense e disappointment he feels.

well,today i decided tt e disappointment has to end.it's amazing how i feel so comfortable wit him,frm e very ferst moment we met till today.a mth plus of frenship brings so much valuable lessons.truly,ive learn quite a ting or two frm our frenship.he nvr fails to make me laugh n no matter wad happens,i dun regret wad happened.i learn frm my mistake.a mistake tt made me much much wiser.a mistake tt brought me more frens,frm all walks of life :)

he's such a sweet sweet guy,n i noe he's sincere but i gez he's jz not e one for me.i rmbr him kol-ing at least 4 times a day.once at 5.30 to wake me up,once more at 7plus to make sure ive reach sch safeli,once more aftr sch,n lastli before he goes back in.all his payphone kols,e phonecards n e 10cents.haha.them making sure taking e 6.10 train evry morning.n him waking me up continuousli despite me being annoyed n forcing me to study.n how cld i forget? all e songs he've sung for me frm e very ferst day n i shall nvr forget ydae,e beautiful moment in which he confessed his feelings.

n he's such a mommy's boy.haha.i tink it's sweet tt today he baked cookies wit his mom.hahaha sha,i tink he'd get into ur gd books already.heh ;) ahh im such a sucker for mommy's boys.

but aniwae evrytin happens for a reason.love cums in all sorts of forms.cit may not be as affectionate.hell,he'd nvr kol me e way *** does.n he as hell sure noes tt i can get to sch safeli witout hafin to kol.hahah.but i do noe he loves me.despite him spending wayyy too much guy time,n forgetting he has a gf waiting for his kol sumtyms,i noe he doesnt intend to hurt me.all e little tings he does in our 3yrs of dating cums into place today.

i dunno wad i'd do if i find out he's toking to anoder gerl.i dunno wad i'd do if anoder gerl confesses her feelings for him.goddamit,i'd explode.i'd question,i'd scream,i'd cry.but nvr has he done tt.n gosh,sumtyms i tink i took tt for granted.

i dowan to hurt him,i dowan to leave him.no one loves me more den he does n no one for sure noes me better den he does.he's all i wan in a guy n all i haf to realise is tt he shows his love for me not by words but tru his evryday actions.he doesnt haf to tell me he loves me evryday,he noes i do.but maybe sumtyms my insecurities get e better of me.

if diz relationship turns into a flop,it's my fault.wad goes ard cums ard.i dun tink i deserve him.as insensitive or uncaring as he may seem,he has never gone in a way to spite me,n not once has he ever cheated on me.he tells me he wans me in his future n it scares me sumtyms to c him so sure of himself.

der is soo much more to see in diz world,so much more to learn,so many more ppl to meet..it's impossible reali to make a relationship last at such a age.but truly,i wan diz relationship.for as long as it can last,for as long as we love each oder.

abcdefghijk..wrytin all tt makes e whole ting a whole lot easier.e oni ting tt's left to do is to not hurt ***'s feelings animore.n i dunno how to.but on e lighter note,ive got a whole week to figure it out.haha.

cheers.

10:32 PM ·